Can Women Learn How to Be Women from Jesus?
a strange question and some possible answers
Physically Speaking
If we’re talking about dressing a curvaceous body, caring for long hair, doing make-up, having periods, interacting appropriately with men, giving birth, nursing babies, raising children, or surviving menopause, then no. Jesus didn’t personally model these things for women nor did he teach women how to do these things. He also didn’t teach plumbers how to plumb or African Americans how to be African Americans or handicap people how to be handicap.
But what if we’re talking about what women should or shouldn’t do within a certain culture? Did Jesus teach women how to behave like women within his time and culture? Did Jesus teach women to follow certain codes of conduct? Here is a sampling of instructions Jesus gave to women during His life on earth. Quotes are in the NIV btw.
Mary and Martha: Luke 10:41-42 “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Samaritan woman at the well: John 4 “Will you give me a drink?” . . . “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” . . . “Go, call your husband and come back.”
Canaanite Woman: Matt 15 “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.” . . . “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.”
His mother at the wedding in Cana: John 2:4 “Woman, why do you involve me? My hour has not yet come.”
Mary at the tomb: John 20:17 “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”
His mother when he was left at Jerusalem: Luke 2:49 “Why were you searching for me? Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?”
Mary anointing Jesus’ feet: John 12:7 “Leave her alone,” Jesus replied.
Woman who was going to be stoned for adultery: John 8 “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” . . .“Then neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin.”
Jesus gave these instructions to various women, but He wasn’t teaching women about behaving like women. He was talking about being part of His Kingdom, and Jesus’ instructions could’ve applied to men too. In fact, men use these passages with other men. So, no. I don’t think Jesus verbally instructed women how to act like women.
Behaving Like a Woman
How about modeling womanly behavior? Did Jesus model how women ought to behave? Hmm… that’s a difficult question. We can’t answer this question without knowing the cultural expectations for godly women in Jesus’ time. Based on my limited knowledge of first-century culture and what Paul wrote to women in His Epistles, I think yes. Jesus modeled the following womanly behaviors.1
Washing feet
Serving food
Being gentle sometimes
Being humble
Learning and being teachable
Remaining silent sometimes
Holding and caring for children (both actual children and the children who were his disciples)
Bathing one’s family (Jesus didn’t physically do this, but what he did on the cross was like washing away the sins of His family, the Church.)
Dressing one’s families (Again, Jesus didn’t physically do this, but His work on the cross dressed the Church in His righteousness.)
Therefore, can women learn how to be godly women from Jesus?
No. I don’t think so. Here’s why.
Jesus didn’t specifying which of his behaviors were only for women and which were only for men. He never said, “Verily, verily, I say unto you, this next thing I’m about to say is just for the men.” Or “Verily, verily, I say unto you, this action is primarily for women with children.”
And while Paul gave several first-century churches more specific instructions, I don’t think Paul was telling first-century women to ignore some of Jesus’ behaviors in order to follow Paul’s instructions instead. By studying Paul’s letters, Acts, and Church history, we learn about many women who didn’t exactly adhere to Paul’s instructions in his Epistles.
Some women chose a life of business, preaching, or celibacy. Some led gatherings of believers in their homes. Some stood up against their pagan husbands, brothers, or fathers in the name of Jesus. Some were kicked out of their homes by family. Some were martyred. Some were brought to trial and boldly spoke the gospel to political and religious leaders. Some traveled to other continents spreading the gospel. Some became prophets and taught.
This kind of behavior seems to fly in the face of Paul’s household codes for upright Christian behavior. Were these women not womanly then? Were these women disobeying Jesus’ teachings? I don’t think so.
Jesus’ life and teachings aren’t step-by-step instructions on how women ought to behave. Rather, Jesus taught women how to be citizens of His Kingdom. Jesus left this earth so that His Holy Spirit could lead women (and men) into all truth.
Conclusion:
It’s the Holy Spirit who teaches us how to be godly women (and men). The Holy Spirit teaches us through a variety of ways. He can show us through the teachings and stories in the Bible. He can show us through God’s creation, cultural norms, and the natural world. He can teach us through other people’s examples and teaching. And he can teach us through images, dreams, and songs. All men and women are invited to study Jesus’ life and teachings, but we discern a right application through the Holy Spirit’s leading.
Challenge Question. Is Jesus the best human example women have of how to be godly women? If so, what does that say about being a woman?
Application question: Consider something you’re attempting to do right now. What is considered the right Christian way of doing that thing? Is the Holy Spirit leading you to do likewise or not?
To read more similar topics, click a link below.
Wives, ask husbands questions at home, submit to a husband’s hierarchical rulership, dress modestly, don’t adorn yourself with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, wear veils in church, learn correct doctrine from husbands, get married, have children, manage your homes, wash the feet of the Lord’s people, and don’t go from house to house spreading rumors.