Facilitating Growth
by sacrificing for others
I’m part of a group of ladies that meets and practices spiritual group direction. At least, that’s what I think it’s called. I’m a newbie at this. I’ve been facilitating the group for several months now. As the facilitator, I open our time with prayer and silence. Then I prompt the ladies to begin sharing about how the Lord has been leading them in their lives. After someone shares, I gauge when they’re finished. Then, we hold that person before the Lord in prayer. We ask the Holy Spirit if there’s anything we might share to encourage them.
I’m like a moderator of sorts in this process of spiritual formation. During these last few months, I’ve noticed how I don’t get to participate in the group quite like the other members. I’m busy paying attention and looking at the clock and trying to get a feel for how everyone is doing. As the facilitator of a group, I give up something in order for the others to fully participate in the group. It’s both a joy and a sacrifice.
That’s what parenting is too. When parenting, we focus on providing our children with good food, clothes, friends, comfort, an education, safety, discipline, and some form of peace and justice. We cannot enjoy our children like onlookers can because we are busy facilitating growth. We give our children this gift by parenting them. It is what parents are called to do.
There are, of course, moments of enjoying my children, but they can’t necessarily be scheduled. I might plan a day at the beach, hoping to enjoy my children, but instead, I spend the time getting sand out of somebody’s eye, handing out snacks, and making sure the oldest tween doesn’t drown in the waves. I don’t end up enjoying myself like I’d hoped.
There are other times when I unexpectedly find that my children are a delight. Everyone breaks out into song on a car ride to soccer practice. If I have the wherewithal to notice, I might seize that moment as a gift from God. “Hurrah! I’m enjoying my children right now. Thank you, God.”
As parents, we can become so busy with planning, cooking, or cleaning, that we miss the enjoyable moments when they come, but that is one of the risks of being a facilitator; sometimes, we just don’t notice how enjoyable the children are. I don’t think this is a fault of ours or a failing. It’s just part of being a facilitator. Sometimes, we’re just trying to facilitate the growth. We choose to make this sacrifice for another.
Yes, there are things that we can do to make the children more enjoyable. The number one thing is to be a good parent. If we do not discipline our children, teach them boundaries, plan their schedules, feed, bathe, and put them to bed on time, it will be harder for us to enjoy them when those spontaneous moments of enjoyment pop up. Instead of enjoying our children, we’ll be mad at them for behaving like wild animals in the restaurant when we never taught them how to behave. We’ll be embarrassed about them because we never made them mind their manners. We’ll be stuck with them because no one wants to babysit such terrible little humans.
Speaking of which, it’s time I put my discipline chart back on the wall and got my kids back into shape after a week of whining and disobeying. Good luck out there! Facilitating growth is no joke.
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Very true!
Well said. Praying for you!