What Good Is Faith If I Still Have To Do It Myself?
a testimony about motherhood
When I had my first baby and was trying to nurse, I felt like Jesus had failed me. It wasn’t working: nursing or my faith. I thought God was a meanie not to put birthing and nursing instructions in the Bible. If God wanted us to increase and multiply, if having children was such a blessing, shouldn’t God have given us instructions on how to do this? And what help was Jesus’ example if he never had any kids and wasn’t even a woman?
I figured it was up to me. Me, myself, I, and some mom friends. After having two more babies, lots of reading, attending support groups, and trying different things, I finally figured out how to quasi-nurse. But I didn’t think that God had helped. It was my own blood and tears that had made it happen. Faith in Jesus didn’t seem part of it.
I recall feeling like this as my babies grew. I was the one who sleep-trained them. I was the one who transitioned them to solid food. I was the one who potty trained them and taught them what not to touch and where not to go.
What good was God in all this, if I still had to do the work and the work was still hard?
I see now that I was trying to use God and the Bible incorrectly. I was trying to use them like an answer key or like a parent who would just do it for me. Jesus’ life—as recorded in the gospels—, Paul’s letters, the Pentateuch, Psalms, and prophets don’t spell out how to do everything. The Bible wasn’t written to take away our work or suffering. Faith in Christ doesn’t get us through trials faster. The Bible doesn’t teach us very much about anatomy, nutrition, or parenting. But knowing what to do and getting through situations is only the top crust of our problem.
We don’t just need to know what to do but to thrive doing it.
I didn’t just need an anatomy lesson about how my body wasn’t properly built for nursing. I needed long suffering through the pain, and I needed humility to ask for help. I needed patience with myself and forgiveness too. I needed to know I was a good mom even though nursing didn’t work like I hoped. I needed to know God was doing His good work in me through my pain, and that it was okay for me to do motherhood differently than the other moms.
Learning how to mother—not like everyone else but as God equips me to—has been an ongoing process of telling God what I think ought to happen, holding that before the Lord, and then discovering what He intends to do with my desires. It’s not God stepping in and rescuing me from situations or Him doing it for me, but rather God doing it with me.
He instructs us through every situation: in hellos and goodbyes, in marriages and deaths, in births and brokennesses. Like the Proverbs say, Wisdom calls out to us on every hill, at the town gates, and in all our comings and goings.
Wisdom is not an answer key on what to do. Wisdom is God’s Spirit in us helping us thrive through whatever we’re doing.
We think we need information, but what we need is someone to handle our fear.
We think we need a decision made, but what we need is peace in making our own decisions.
We think we need solutions, but what we need is someone with us teaching us patience to endure the durations without solutions.
We think we need skills, but what we need is courage to try new things.
We think we need power, but what we need is the freedom to let go.
We think we need circumstances to change, but what we need is God to transform us.
By the way, I’ve discovered the Bible has plenty to say about caring for newborns and infants who are helpless, poor, ignorant, and needy. The Bible just doesn’t label those instructions “For Mothers.” Rather, it addresses these instructions to those who are rich, who have the knowledge of God’s kingdom, and whom God has chosen for this work. Turns out that being a mother isn’t that different than being a pastor, shepherd, overseer, or rich man.
Isaiah 58:10-11 is my favorite one of the bunch. I’ll end with that.
…if you pour yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as the noonday.
And the Lord will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail.
Here are some other references to consider:
Matthew 24:45
Matthew 25:34-40
1 Timothy 3:1-5
Psalm 112:6-8