Letting Go and Holding On
a sermonette for moms
Not too long ago, I put on a pair of jeans and realized they didn’t fit like they used to. They were baggy in the posterior section. I’d gone through a few months of poor health where I laid around, ate little, and exercised nil. Thus, I’d lost some muscle mass on what I used to think was my rather nicely shaped back end. It was nicely shaped no longer.
Add to this the fact that I’d taken pains to acquire these pants in my size. Thus, I was not about ready to let them go and buy a new pair. So I did what every reasonable mom would do, I decided to work out my gluts without adding rigorous training sessions to my day. Rather, I decided I would clench my glutes at intervals during my normal activities.
I would be driving down the road and spontaneously clench my glutes. I would be reading a book to my children, and I would clench my glutes. I would be unloading the dishwasher, and I would clench my glutes.
That lasted for maybe two hours. Then I decided that was enough for one day. The next day I was so sore that I decided I needed a day of rest before continuing this strenuous workout. On the third day, I decided that since skinny jeans weren’t in style anymore anyway, I might as well buy pants that fit, which I never did because . . . well . . . life.
Are there things that you’ve let go of because you thought it was hopeless? Maybe it’s keeping your kids off devices. You know you probably shouldn’t do it as often as you do, but you’ve kind of given up trying to fight it. It seems impossible.
Or maybe it’s keeping the house clean. I occasionally go through periods of hopelessness about my house. What’s the point? The kids just get it dirty again.
Or maybe you find yourself in the opposite camp.
Are there things that you’re refusing to let go of? Maybe it’s handling your kids’ emotions. Maybe your own parents wrote off your emotions, so you’ve decided you’re going to validate your kids even if it kills you. So you try, and other parts of your life are beginning to suffer.
Or maybe it’s cussing. You’ve decided you’re never going to cuss at your kids. Instead, you keep your anger inside and controlled. But that hasn’t really solved the anger problem. It has just rerouted your anger to your husband, government, church, or yourself.
There are all sorts of things that we as moms hold onto because of the principle of the thing. And there are other areas that we’ve decided are hopeless.
There’s good news. Neither of these mindsets is how we have to live.
Hold your fists clenched tight on your lap. This represents any promises or principles or rules that you may have made to not be like those bad moms. These clenched fists represent whatever you’re promising to yourself.
Now, listen:
As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one;
there is no one who understands;
there is no one who seeks God.
All have turned away,
they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good,
not even one.” Romans 3:10-12 NIV
There’s nothing wrong with making vows or trying to stick to principles for the sake of our kids. The problem is believing we have the willpower and a clean heart to do this good thing.
Take that clenched fist and when you’re ready, slowly open it to the Lord and pray, “Lord, I have believed I could do it. I confess that I had faith in myself instead of you.”
You’re not giving up that ideal. You’re not saying it’s unreasonable or impossible. You’re giving up the belief that you’re going to do it out of your own steam.
Now for those who’ve given up certain principles long ago and decided it’s hopeless—“There’s no point trying to stay off social media,” “I just can’t make my kids do jobs,” “There’s no point keeping myself from cussing because I still do it in my head,” “There’s no point to returning library books on time,” etc.—for those who have lost hope that something consistently good could ever actualize in your life and in your messy home . . . open your hands on your lap.
These open hands symbolize the hopeless way you’ve been living. Don’t let the guilt swamp you. I tend to fall into this camp more than the clenched fist camp too. Maybe you never stick to one thing or keep commitments because children and life keep interrupting you.
Now, listen.
“…for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” (Galatians 6:7b-10 ESV)
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:28-32 NIV)
Every failed attempt we made to keep the house clean, keep our body fit, and not cuss, isn’t a failed attempt according to God. The only failure is in our faith. We stopped believing that God was doing something great through all the little seemingly futile things we were doing.
We thought the goal was to keep the house clean; God’s goal is to clean up our hearts. We thought we were trying to keep from cussing; God’s goal is to clean out that anger in us. We thought the goal was to read 1,000 books before kindergarten; God’s goal is to slow down our anxious thoughts or to let go of that grade-orientated self.
Take a minute now with those open hands on your lap, and when you’re ready, clench those hands to your heart and confess, “Lord, I have given up believing that you were working through these seemingly futile tasks. I take back that belief in you and your glorious work in me through my daily work. Amen.”
For the one who thinks they can accomplish God’s will, it’s time to let go of that faith in self and transfer that to faith in Christ. And to the one who thinks God can’t work through their efforts, it’s time to grasp that faith again that God is using what we do to accomplish good in us and around us and through us to the world.
The goal isn’t to get some old pair of pants to fit; the goal is to give this flesh and blood body, this racing mind and beating heart all to the Lord.
I like your little sermonette!!