Wives, Submit!
Wives, Submit!
Circumstantial Reasons for N.T. Wives' Submission
This is a flowchart I recently created inspired by Cynthia Westfall’s book, Paul and Gender. This book provided logical, contextually consistent, and hermeneutically sound explanations for what Paul most likely meant when he addressed women’s submission in the New Testament.
I’ve been thinking through her conclusions, testing them against scripture, and finding how this opens and enlarges my ideas of God, Christ, and the Church. Below is an outline to explain the context for these verses about submission. After that are explanations of the red-boxes in my flowchart and why I think these conclusions are dangerous for men and women to believe.
Context of Women’s Submission in the New Testament
According to Strong’s Greek Dictionary “submission” (hypotássō) comes from the words hypó, "under" and tássō, “arrange.” Thus, the definition of submission literally means to arrange oneself under. Its definition also includes: to place or rank under, to subject oneself to, or to obey.
While all Christians—men and women—are called to submit to God, those in authority, and to one another in love, women specifically are asked to submit to their husbands in the New Testament. Does this mean the New Testament writers intended to establish authority structures with men over women in the home and church? This outline examines the context surrounding Paul and Peter’s instructions to women regarding submission.
1 Cor. 14:34 NIV— "Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says.”
In 1 Corinthians 14, Paul instructs the Corinthians about orderly worship services. Most of the instructions in chapter 14 are not directed to women nor do they state that men need to be the primary speakers or overseers in church. In this chapter, Paul gives instructions about speaking in tongues and prophesying, both of which were allowed by women.
1 Corinthians 14:26 shows how everyone was to contribute to the gatherings: “What then shall we say, brothers and sisters? When you come together, each of you has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. Everything must be done so that the church may be built up.”
1 Corinthians 14:28 even speaks about when men might need to be silent in church. “If there is no interpreter, the speaker should keep quiet in the church and speak to himself and to God.”
1 Corinthians 14:35 explains why Paul asks women to be silent in verse 34. Verse 35 says, “If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.”
Paul’s instructions seem to be addressing wives asking questions during worship services in the church. Interrupting questions would be disgraceful to the orderly worship of the church service.
Scholars believe that Paul addresses women specifically rather than men due to the lack of women’s education at that time. Women would most likely not understand things that their husbands would.
Women asking their husbands questions at home was a way to preserve the orderliness of the worship service and create a model for women’s education. Women were to be schooled by their husbands at home not in a church service.
This may have been Paul’s education plan for women at that time.
Paul’s mention of the law is not a reference to an Old Testament law but is believed to be a classroom etiquette rule at that time found in the Qumram, similar Greco-Roman contexts, and later rabbinic practices.1 The rule is simply don’t talk while others are talking.
Eph 5:22-24 NIV — “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
Note: These verses follow on the heels of Ephesians 5:21, which says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Thus, Paul admonishes all Christians to arrange themselves under each other.
The wives submit to their husbands because the husbands are the head of the wives just as Christ was to the church. Is Paul primarily pointing out leadership and authority positions through his use of the word “head”?
There is currently a debate about whether the Koine Greek word for “head” means authority or origin/source. There is an overwhelming amount of evidence to support that head means origin or source. This interpretation enriches the meanings of these verses and Paul’s writings elsewhere.
However, even if Paul were using the word “head” to mean authority, the way he describes the role of “head” in Ephesians 5:25-33 suggests that Paul isn’t using the word “head” to imply ruler or leadership roles in the earthly sense.
Rather, Paul is suggesting that husbands be like Christ who prepared the church for the heavenly marriage with their heavenly bridegroom. This is through loving their wives as they love their own bodies. (Eph 4:28)
Paul explains the services that the head/husband renders his wife in terms of sacrifice, washing, feeding, and clothing, NOT in ruling, handling the money, being the spokesperson, deciding another’s good, or making all the big family decisions.
Thus, the type of headship Paul is talking about is defined as type of loving service and giving up one’s earthly advantages to prepare one’s spouse for Christ.
Furthermore in Ephesians 5:33, Paul characterizes the type of submission that the wives are to render to their husbands as “respect.”
Col. 3:18 NIV — “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”
This admonishment begins a list of appropriate attitudes between several categories of people: wives to husbands, husbands to wives, children to parents, parents to children, and slaves to masters.
These admonishments are bookended before and after with verses that remind the recipients that the actions within these relationships are done in service to the Lord. Verse 17 says, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
Verse 23-24 clarifies that the Lord is our Heavenly master while these other masters are temporary human masters. “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”
Thus, if the relationship of a husband is that of a master or leader over his wife, Paul calls this a human master, not an eternal one.
Note that the receiving of “an inheritance from the Lord as a reward” seems to imply the completion of a task, i.e., eventually, the human masters will no longer be the rulers.
This seem to imply that earthly masters have a limited time to reign on earth.
1 Peter 3:1-2 — “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”
This verse clearly states the reason for the submission - so husbands might be won over to believe the word of God.
The attractive qualities brought about by this submission are “purity” “reverence” and then in 1 Peter 3:3-4 as “gentle and quiet spirit.”
Such descriptions may either be what was considered appropriate for women at that time OR how good citizens behaved under authority. Similar language is found in Matthew 11:29 where Jesus describes himself as gentle and lowly, and in Matthew 21:5 Jesus is described as gentle and riding a donkey.
Titus 3:2 urges both men and women to be gentle toward everyone.
1 Timothy 2:2 also urges the Ephesian men and women both to live peaceful quiet lives. Living with a gentle and quiet spirit in these contexts was more likely a way for the Christians to demonstrate respect to everyone in leadership and to avoid negative Roman attention.
Titus 2:3-5 — “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
The reason wives are to be subject to their husbands is so that “no one will malign the word of God.”
A household where a wife wasn’t submitting to her husband would cause people of that culture to speak ill of Christianity and its practical application in the home.
In that time, the Roman Empire would’ve kiboshed any new religions that threatened to upset the social orders within the home or between masters and slaves. Thus, the appearance of an orderly home was vital to early Christian’s survival.
These instructions to women are followed up by instructions to young men and slaves. The goal in their behavior was “so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive.” (Titus 2:10b) Thus, the behavior of women being busy at home and subject to their husbands made the gospel attractive to people of that culture.
Verse 12 emphasizes the temporary state of these affairs. “It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.” (Titus 3:12 NIV)
And Titus 3:1-2 enforces a submission and gentleness for both men and women, suggesting once again that submission for slaves and wives was to blend in and adhere to that culture’s standard of goodness. “Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.”
1 Timothy 2:11-12 NIV— “A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.”
Because 1 Timothy 2:12 is so frequently taken out of context, it’s necessary to spend more space looking at this letter to understand Paul’s intent for women in these verses.
At that time, letters stated their purpose at the beginning. Paul states his purpose for writing in 1 Timothy 1:3-7 where he tells Timothy to “stay there in Ephesus so that you may command certain people not to teach false doctrines any longer or to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies . . . Some have departed from these and have turned to meaningless talk. They want to be teachers of the law, but they do not know what they are talking about or what they so confidently affirm.”
From these verses, we learn certain people were teaching the law without knowing what they were talking about. They were also devoted to myths and endless genealogies.
In 1 Timothy 1:12-17 Paul himself reminds Timothy that Paul was once deceived about the law and received correction from the Lord.
In verses 18-20, Paul encourages Timothy to hold fast to the faith and not fall away like Hymenaeus and Alexander. This might indicate that the false teaching was coming from people within the church where Timothy would then need to correct them in love.
Chapter 2 of 1 Timothy begins the instructions on how to go about correcting the problems.
First prayer and thanksgiving are to be made for all people, including those in authority, who would be the pagan Romans and those in the church who had corrective teaching authority to give.
Next the men were not to argue but to go about lifting holy hands. Again, these instructions pave the way for corrective teaching.
Finally, the women were not to overdress, and a wife was to learn in quiet submission instead of teaching and exercising authority over her husband.
The switch from women to wife is supported by the grammatical switch from plural women in verse 9 to singular woman in verse 11, the reference to Adam and Eve, and the mention of childbearing.2
The need for a wife’s quiet submission here is similar to Paul’s call to wives in 1 Corinthians 14:35 who needed to refrain from asking questions in church and instead, to learn at home from their husbands. This was a way for women to learn what educated men would’ve already known.
The action here done by women—“teaching and exercising authority over”—seems to harken back to 1 Timothy 1:7 “They want to be teachers of the law, but they do not know what they are talking about or what they so confidently affirm.”
The word for “exercise authority over” isn’t a word to describe what anyone ought to do in a church setting, man or woman. Rather, it has violent and forceful connotations, such as what a policeman might do to a law-breaker.3
Paul uses 1 Timothy 2:13-15 to further explain the nature of the Ephesian women’s issue.
Verse 15 suggests the false doctrine may have had something to do with how to be saved through childbearing.
Verses 13-14 compare the Ephesian women with Eve in explaining the nature of the deception. Paul seems to be saying that Eve’s deception was due to being created second.
What does being created second have to do with being deceived? Genesis 2, which Paul is referencing here, explains how Adam was created first, then received God’s law, and then Eve was created. This implies that Eve was deceived about God’s instructions because God told his law directly to Adam. Thus, those who are most easily deceived are those who don’t receive the law directly from God.
The implication of this for the Ephesian women is that they too need to be directly instructed about correct doctrine to know that God is the only one who saves through childbearing.
The following chapters of 1 Timothy explain more about the correction needed in the church at Ephesus. Chapter 3 stresses the importance of having trustworthy and godly elders and deacons who will follow the instructions that Paul has just given in chapter 2.
In 1 Timothy 3:14-16, Paul explains how he’d like to come himself but “if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth.”
Chapter 4 continues on the subject of false teaching. “They (the hypocritical liars) forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth.” (4:3)
Here is perhaps another clue to the women’s false doctrine — that is, abstaining from marriage to save themselves from childbearing.
Again in 1 Timothy 4:7, Paul explains more about the Ephesian women’s issue. “Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly.”
Chapter 5’s attention to widows suggests another group of women that may have been part of the false doctrine troubles.
In 5:5-6, Paul suggests that some widows aren’t actually in need and instead are living for pleasure. This indicates some Ephesian women were well off and thus had time and money on their hands.
And 5:13 explains some of the younger widows’ issues. “Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to.”
This verbiage again harkens back to 1 Timothy 1:6-7 “Some have departed from these and have turned to meaningless talk. They want to be teachers of the law, but they do not know what they are talking about or what they so confidently affirm.”
Finally in 1 Timothy 5:17-25 and into Chapter 6, Paul gives instructions about those who would presumably be in charge of correcting the false teaching and ensuring that correct doctrine is being taught.
In conclusion, 1 Timothy 2:11-12 seems to be addressing how in 1st century Ephesus, Timothy was to correct the Ephesian women from the false doctrine that they were spreading and subjecting their husbands to.
Why the Red Boxes Seem Dangerous
Three pathways on the “Why Submit” Flowchart end in red boxes indicating ideas that I think are contrary to scripture and destructive. Here is why:
Box 1 says: “God designed women to best thrive when they give up their earthly authority to men. This best prepares both of them for eternal life with Christ.”
While giving up earthly advantages seems consistent with many of Jesus’ & Paul’s teachings—whoever would save his life must lose it (Matt. 16:25), take up your cross and follow me (Matt. 16:24), render to Caesar what is Caesar’s (Matthew 22:21), from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back (Luke 6:30), value others above yourself (Phil. 2:3), did not consider equality with God a thing to be grasped (Phil 2:6), humbled himself by becoming obedient (Phil. 2:8), etc.—, God gave these instructions to both men and women. These instructions do not come with an asterisks that says, “except in the case of sharing a power advantage with women.”
Christians are called to give up a tight grasp of earthly power, resources, influence, and admiration in order to seek Heavenly Treasures instead. For men to cling tightly to earthly power seems like a way to store up earthly treasure where moth and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal (Matt. 6:19).
Jesus and Paul taught that those in the Kingdom of God are those who give up, surrender everything, die to themselves, and serve others. To believe that the Bible teaches that men should be unwilling to share leadership positions with women seems to contradict scripture and excuse men from having to die to themselves in this area. This seems dangerous for men to believe.
To say that men best grow when given authority doesn’t seem supported by scripture. Rather, the opposite seems true for both men and women as seen throughout the Old Testament. When the Israelites were powerful, free, prosperous, and influential, they turned away from the Lord and trusted in their own power as foretold in Deuteronomy 8:17. They trusted in their fortified cities (Jeremiah 5:17), they grew rich and powerful, fat and sleek, using their advantages for themselves and not to defend the rights of the poor (Jeremiah 5:27-28). The priests even ruled by their own authority. (Jeremiah 5:31). This is a repeated theme throughout the prophets. (Ezekiel 16:15, Hosea 2:5-8, 10:1 & 13, Amos 6:1-7, etc.) On the other hand, when the Israelites were oppressed, enslaved, and in danger, they turned back to worshipping the Lord. Thus, it does not seem that men grow best for God’s kingdom when reserving earthly authority for themselves. Women, on the other hand, could thrive quite well without earthly authority. John 15 tells us that God prunes the branches so that they will bear more fruit. Pruning is a way of cutting off or taking something away from the vine, not adding.
Box 2 says: “Wives submit to husbands for all our earthly lives, regardless of culture or rulership changes.”
To continue using a witnessing technique regardless of its effectiveness does not seem consistent with the living, breathing, growing life of the Spirit. Nor does it seem to follow Paul’s instruction to be all things to all people for the sake of the gospel in 1 Corinthians 9:19-23.
If a country has laws that say men and women are equal and must be given equal opportunity, why would Christians in that country disobey in their churches or homes about something that is not a moral absolute?
This would be in direct contradiction to Romans 13, which tells us to submit to our governing authorities. This would also serve to make Christianity unsavory to people in that culture.
The decision to follow a rule regardless of culture or whether or not this is the best way to love others seems similar to how the Pharisees followed the Sabbath rules: without compassion or consideration of others.
Box 3 says: “Wives submit to husbands to obtain God’s spiritual blessings through them.”
This is heretical and an extremely destructive belief for women. It is like giving men alone a levitical priesthood similar to that in the Old Testament. This is in direct contradiction to Peter who included women in the new priesthood in 1 Peter 2:9-10 and Paul who said that Christ made all Christians sufficient to be ministers of this new faith in 2 Corinthians 3:4-6. Paul also said that the believers in Corinth were not lacking in any gift and had been given all knowledge and wisdom in 1 Corinthians 1:4-9. This included women who received leadership gifts from God as well as men.
To believe that wives obtain spiritual blessings through their husbands is a harmful belief to women who choose not to or have no opportunity to marry. It also contradicts Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 where Paul says it is better to be unmarried.
To believe that women obtain spiritual blessings through men is to put men in the place of God. While God may provide earthly goods, authority, influence, and praise to women through men, men cannot meet any of women’s spiritual needs.
Women have a God-shaped vacuum, not a man-shaped vacuum. This includes women’s need to rule and reign themselves according to Christ’s standards.
Westfall, Cynthia. Paul and Gender: Reclaiming the Apostle’s Vision for Men and Women in Christ. Grand Rapids: Baker Publishing Group, 2016. Pg. 237
Ibid. Pg. 288-89
Ibid. Pg. 292.