The Reformer
I perceive a lack of order in your life, and I know how you should change. I have systems and schedules, procedures and lists. I have developed these things so that I myself may perform in a way that is acceptable to all men. Thus, I know how to put all the pieces of your life into place. If you listen to my teaching and follow my instructions, you too can have this harmonious synchronization between body and mind and men. Come, follow me. Take note of my ways, and that should keep you in order.
The Helper
You poor soul! You’re in need. I’ve been studying your every move and noticing how you’ve run out of bobby pins. You prefer the black kind. I know just where to get them. And that sun visor on your car keeps flopping down. I could mend that with a zip tie. I saw you tripping over that pile of unwanted Christmas paraphernalia when you went into the garage. I could clean that up for you. And I can listen to your troubles. I’m the sort of person who really understands others. No need to ask for help. I’ll just do it for you. And you too. Oh, and you as well.
The Achiever
Welcome to the dream team! I’ve selected you because I’ve seen how well you work. You will be our publicist. Charlie there runs our tech like a magician. And Susan’s artwork wows the crowds. I’m the spearhead of this operation. We’re going to do things that will stop people in their tracks. So let’s get busy! There’re still two more positions to fill, and I’m looking for just the right person: someone with natural talent and abilities, someone who will give us an edge. I’ve got my eyes peeled and I know talent when I see it.
The Individualist
These people’s lives have touched mine in intense moments. I see them in my mind’s eye. I remember when Cheri and I stood on the rim of the Grand Canyon, and the sun was setting pink and orange. The wind was blowing through our hair, and we listened to “Beautiful Day” by U2. Then there was that dark day when I learned about my dad. Chris was with me for that. I was wearing that brown sweater from my Grandpa, and we talked about our grandparents. Faith and I shared that moment on the bus ride up to camp as we bumped along and discussed depression with each other. And Charlie knows what it’s like to uproot and move towns like I do. Each of these people gets it to a degree and thus, I call them mine.
The Observer
Well, I’ve read a few authors on genetics and brain function, but the verdict is still out on whether or not they’ve captured the entire issue at hand and how it relates to original sin. Here are my authors for gender differences. I’ve read these eight so far, but I’m still not sure I understand the various nuances of the subject. Oh, and this part of my library is where I keep my poetry. I like Browning and Whitman. Wendell Berry is always good. I’ve only dabbled in the subject, and I/m quite the amateur in writing it. I need more practice.
The Loyalist
It’s hard to know who to trust these days, so I keep a list of various experts. I’m sure one day it’ll come in handy, if not for me, then maybe for you. Here’s a painter who you can give your house key and not worry about them stealing anything, and then this is the number for an honest lawyer who was recommended to me by a friend, and here’s a Christian cardiologist. And you know everyone’s got to have the number for a mortician. I know several people who’ve used these guys so they must be good in handling that sort of thing. You can never know too many experts.
The Enthusiast
Who’s up for a hike to the top of this hill? Anyone can come! You’ve never hiked a hill in your life? Don’t worry about it. I’m sure it’ll work out. Let’s just do it. Woohoo! Have you seen how glorious the weather is? And look at that flower! Just divine! I think I see some people already at the top. Hey! Wait for us! We’re coming! Let’s go join them and we can share snacks. I brought the soda and popcorn! Whatever you’ve brought will be fine. What? You don’t want to go? No prob. See you later.
The Challenger
Come. Quick. Get behind me. They’re coming. Who? The villains, that’s who, the tyrants and bullies. Of course, you’ve never seen them. I’ve been zeroing in on them my whole life. Put me in a room with a bunch of people, and, in ten seconds, I can tell you who is going to try to take control. And I can protect you from them. I have what it takes to stop them. I’m made of tougher stuff than the average person. So come on. Gosh, people. Get behind me. You’re so pathetically vulnerable standing out there in the open. Can’t you see the enemy is coming?
The Peacemaker
I was going to watch some TV or take a nap, but then you came along and told me about that hike. Sure, I’d love to go. Get behind you? Okay. Will do. Yes, I should probably start a list of reliable morticians as well. Do you want to send me your list? Thanks for the book, by the way. I can’t say I’ve ever been interested in genetics, but the way you talk about it makes it sound fascinating. That day at the Grand Canyon doesn’t ring a bell, but it sounds like it was really meaningful to you. What’s that? Oh, no. I’m pretty sure you don’t want me on your team. I don’t have any special abilities like the others. But don’t worry about me. You really don’t have to help me find my abilities. Please, stop. I mean, I’ll take your lists of to-do’s and put those someplace, but really, I’m just content to hang out with all of you people.