Part 3: The New Normal

Chapter 1: Toilet Paper

“Catch the little foxes for us
The little foxes
That spoil the vineyards,
For our vineyards are in bloom.”
Song of Solomon 2:15

Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Thursday, April 23, 2020
	Today I discover my children stringing toilet paper up around their room to make a haunted house. As I scold one, the other comes out of the closet with her head and arms wrapped in T.P. like a mummy. Yes, this is the second time during COVID they’ve used toilet paper wastefully. And this is why mothering is so maddening. If catching them once at a foolish activity assured they wouldn’t do it again, it wouldn’t be so bad, but that is not the case. The little humans must try the foolishness again, multiple times with slightly different variables.
	“Mama, you told us not to waste toilet paper. But what about wasting toilet paper outside the house? What if it wasn't my idea? What if I absolutely need toilet paper for my craft? What if you don’t find out that I wasted toilet paper? Is it fine then?” 	
	Also, discover from Opal that Johnny has been secretly eating my hand sanitizer. Wonder if I should call poison control, but, as Opal tells me Johnny did this last week and Johnny is still alive, decide hand sanitizer isn’t lethal.
	Suppose if I were shopping at Costco, my children’s antics would be a major disaster, but as Vallarta usually has toilet paper, and Beatrice provided me with extra hand sanitizer and Clorox wipes as soon as she learned I didn’t have any, am not worried. Even with the children’s waste, we haven’t had to buy more toilet paper since the pandemic began. Feel as if our toilet paper supply is like the widow's oil in the Bible. Scott’s single-ply makes one feel like that. As for Clorox wipes, I will save what Beatrice gave me until someone gets the stomach flu. Question: does quarantining guarantee that we won’t get the stomach flu?