Part 2: Chapter 3

Manure Theft

Thursday, April 9, 2020

	The circumstances surrounding my meeting Paul, Beatrice's eldest son, are worth recording for future generations. So I do just this here.
        I’d just picked up my children from school last September and was rounding the corner to head home when I saw a big bag of unopened garden soil sitting on the side of the road. People in Uptown Whittier frequently leave unwanted items in their alleys or on their front lawns for anyone to take. I’ve obtained quite a number of goods this way: three scooters, two coffee tables, garden pots, kids’ bicycles, a tire swing, firewood, a baby swing, a box of unopened tampons, etc.
	The side of the road has become a regular shopping stop for me. So upon seeing this big bag of manure, I stepped on the brakes and inspected it. It was a massive 3-cubic-feet of garden soil from Home Depot. These cost about $12, and here was one for free. 
         Still wasn’t so sure. The bag was on the curb resting against a planter in front of an apartment complex. No gardeners were nearby. No cars in the driveway. And the tidy yard didn’t look like the soil needed amending. In fact, the place looked like a perfectionist took care of it. The boxwood hedges are trimmed into perfect rectangles and the edges of the lawn taper down to the sidewalk.
	Wanted to be sure though, so I told the kids to stay in the car, while I hiked the steep steps and rang the bell on the gate labeled “Ring for the manager.” No one answered. A dog barked in a window close to the gate. Rang it again and spotted two cameras trained on me. Called through the gate several times, but still no one answered. In the meantime, my kids unbuckled their buckles, leaned out the windows, peered over the top of the car, and shouted things like, “Look how car I can stretch!” and “I can see the top of that house. Can you?”
	Decided to throw caution to the wind and roped the twins into helping me lift the manure into the back of my car.