If You Do Not Love

a 1 Corinthians 13 contemplation for men and women

A Contemplation For Myself (And Women)

If rethinking men and women’s roles
and discovering the church was wrong
does not draw me closer to the one man I love 
in unity, service, empowerment, and appreciation,
what's the point?

If waking at odd hours in anger 
and raising a cry for my under-valued and un-empowered sisters
numbs my sorrow over my own sins,
causes me to trust Christ less,
oppose men more, 
and begrudge my children their needs,
what good has been done?

If I write with the eloquence of angels 
but do not love, aren't I only an A.I. content-maker? 
If I prophecy and fathom all mysteries,
and have faith to say, "Church, make way for women!"
but hope men are hurt like women have been,
where is God's love in that?

If I serve my husband, children, and church
and I sacrifice my body and time,
but do not actually wish to be with men,
empower men, equip men, bring value to men, 
and to teach other women to do the same,
what have I gained
but a radius of wounded souls
of which I'm too proud to ask for forgiveness
and from whom I'm unwilling to accept the Eucharist.

---

A Contemplation for Men

If this continuing in the tradition of the generations before you
and resolving that if it was good enough for them so shall it be for you
does not draw you closer to the one woman you married 
in unity, service, empowerment, and appreciation,
what's the point?

If your skepticism to new ideas 
and the ease with which you refrain from discovery
drives you to trust men's strength more,
work alongside women less,
and begrudge your congregation their needs,
what good has been done?

If you safeguard God's word like an unflappable soldier 
but don't love, aren't you only a wall, cold and lifeless? 
If you are duteous in leading when no one else will, 
and say, "It falls to me, so I shall,"
but reject your sisters' offerings in the process,
where's God's goodness in that?

If you give your prime and retirement
to wife, children, and church,
but do not actually wish to work with women,
empower women, equip women, bring value to women, 
and to teach other men to do the same,
what have you gained
but a radius of wounded souls
of which you're too proud to ask for forgiveness
and whom you refuse to empower to pass along the Eucharist.

This poem was inspired by Wendell Berry’s Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front where he writes:

“...So long as woman do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?...”