Are All Gifts Good

a republished blog from 2021

Photo by Edgar Soto on Unsplash

About a year ago, I wanted to write a blog about how to give good gifts. It was going to explain how gift-giving takes time and consideration. It probably would've been true, but the heart behind it was not right. The heart behind it was resentment at others for not giving me exactly what I wanted.

I was convinced that gift-giving was about considering the other person, namely, me!

I don't agree with myself anymore. Gift giving, just like communicating with words, spoken or written, is a two-part interaction. There's the speaker and the listener. There's the writer and the reader. There's the giver and the receiver. Giving is equally about both parties.

The giver communicates delight in some form. People might give to bring another person joy. People might give because they're delighted in the abundance that they have. They might take joy in the sheer act of giving or in a particular item. I've felt this way after reading a great book. I just have to give it to someone else to read!

A receiver communicates acceptance of some kind: acceptance of a person, acceptance of help, acceptance of the giver's delight, or acceptance of the item itself.

I think both giving and receiving are good. They are godlike because God gives and receives. Our giving is a smaller version of what God does. God gives us good gifts, not just beautiful sunsets and freshly baked bread but wisdom, love, and peace. And God accepts our attempts to give back to him, as feeble and small as they are.

All this means that it is good for my daughter to give me a recycled bottle with googly eyes glued to it even if I secretly throw it away later. The gift communicated her delight in her art, her fondness for me, or her attempt to make amends for an offense.